Different Breed

so im texting a friend of mine and the convo got a lil risqué. anyhow he tells me "i might let u have some of this" so i said to him "listen to u! if i want it i can take it. its not a matter of you givin it to me. trust that.!" his response took me by surprise ---> "ima diff breed. u cant take me. i aint easy." that made me weak cuz it was kinda sexy that a young man would say he aint easy. at the same time, it was a challenge that i cannot take but i would LOVE to overcome. then, it was an eye-opening/ thought provoking statement.

the thought of him uttering those words made me wet. yuuup, i said it lol. i could hear his voice in that statement and it was too sexy lol. ugh the lust is so apparent.! but...with all that lust came nothing but the thought of sex. there was no thought of him holding me and making love. it was pure, unadulterated sex. and to me, that was an issue.! along with the fact that this young man just told me he was a "different breed"

well ok so this is how i feel about sex ---> man and woman love each other so they get married and in order to consummate the marriage, they engage in sexual activity. it makes them one.! however, that's not how many people my age see sex now.! in my generation, sex is just bustin a nut and relieve "sexual frustration." UGH this makes me super angry. where is the respect? where is the love in love making.? have we, the people, allowed sex to dwindle into a selfish act of pleasure.? if so, that's a damn shame. anyway...point is, i cant have sex with this young man. its too trendy.!

next thing ---> "different breed." this ties into the previous thing cuz like i said...my generation has allowed sex to mean virtually nothing and its sad.! wats even worse is that he said "im a different breed...i aint easy," therefore implying that the "normal breed" is easy.! DAMN! did you catch that? lemme repeat...the normal breed is easy. the chicks and dudes out here in my age group are easy. HOWEVER, that is why i have been referring to him as "young man" because he is not a dude. in the same manner, this young lady, ME, would never allow myself to be a chick or a broad or a female.! nope, not gonna happen. because i am a lady. and it is so depressing that i have to label myself as a "different breed" because of that.

point is ----> WE GOTTA GO BETTER.! we cannot sit here and let sex mean nothin and allow ourselves to be easy. hold you head high, you are beautiful and special. psalm 139:14.! READ IT =D do not open ur legs to every penis that comes along ladies. and men, stop sticking ur penis into every vagina that is willing. YOU ARE BETTER THAN THAT.! dare to be the different breed. maybe one day, it wont be so "different"

and im free flowing

just thoughts streming down my face

you call it tears

i refer to them as an exhibition

fuxk the definition

i take it to heart

wen you "take things slow"

cuz thaz just you lettin me kno

that u gotta let me go

green is my worse color

but im wearin it boldly

i love you

and you love me

no doubt but u seem

i dunno kinda stuck if u ask me

im scared

of losing what we have

us

me an you

you and i

jus you

i rahter lose me

that lose you

thats deep

like the way i wana feel u

if i lose me

in trying to find u

then ima just be you

and thaz not enuff

i gotta be me

so that wen ur ready

you can come to me

and it can be we

but u didnt learn that lesson

so you lost urself

in her

and so u are her

u found urself for a lil while

u came back

and it was us again

smiling

laughin

jovially being wat we were

but somehow you

followed the cheese

then got trapped

so once again you are her

you said its not the same

so i guess u arent her rat

just her tiny mouse

cuz some part of you is still you

but i want u

i want all of you

i need you not to lose

urself in her

but find urself

in me.!

-At.YOU

4:50 Thoughts

im laying in bed as my roommate sleeps so peacefully. actually shes tossing and turning as are the thoughts in my mind. im thinking about "love." the word love has become such a downplayed noun but for me, it is a lifestyle. random thought =) gnite.

R.e.s.p.e.c.t [est06062008)

Back in my day respect was something u earned

Its wasn't something that was given to everyone in this world

But apparently things have change

But in my heart, one thing still remains

And it's that little part that's keeping me from going insane

It's the thing that that shows me was really "good"

The same thing that has me a bit misunderstood

The little part that makes me say I just can't give up

No matter how much the hard the road is I must be tough

That little part is called hope and I keep it alive

Because without it all my liveliness surely would die

I'm watching people bow down to someone who ain't a king

I'm watching people say and do 2 different things

Then they're the ones who act like they own this place

And walk around lookin down on others, what a disgrace

What about the people who don't realize how much pain they cause

Cuz at the end of the day they only tryna get in them draws

Its funny to see the "men" who think they make the world go round

But not really knowin they turned it upside down

With their "we run sh*t" type attitude

They start makin it look like they the ones who rule

Over me over you over everybody

But the fact that they are equal is what's hard to see

Anyway back to the hope I got

Imagine if it wasn't there, if I had let it stop

Let it stop growin on me

And allowin me to see

What's goin on round here ain't for me to be

To be stessin it and thinking I can do it alone

Its for me to realize how much I have truly grown

Grown closer to the Lord who's makin it an easier road

And showin me that its not about all the riches and gold

Gold is the color of the sun and please don't get me wrong

Material things make me smile but they cant keep me strong

Strong as the bull that represents my zodiac sign

But apart from that strong as the people who aren't left behind

Behind to struggle and cry

Behind the tears and the lies

Cuz they have hope u see

Bigger than you and me

Without the hope we got

We gon be stuck a lot

We gon have pain a lot

So we mustn't make it stop

Why give them all the credit like the cards in your pants

How bout we make a difference take a stand

A stand against the people who aren't worth all that respect

Respect is something you earn, not a thing that u just get

[kinda old but still relevant)

Making It Mine [est05272008)

She said maybe it was her fault

He said naw u good

They said no pressure y u stressin it

I say God..maybe i should

Maybe i should give it all up

and make a find a new attitude

maybe i should pack up all muh stuff

&& show em how to get rude

maybe i need to just give them

That stank look i got

maybe i should do it like snoop

&& just drop em like its hott

but Jesus had other plans

He said no thats not gon fly

not in my book

&& surely not on my time

so i made the effort

to walk it out like unk

i decided to look to God

&& get rid of the junk

all the junk thats been pressin me

streesin me

testin me

all the pain thats be holdin me

moldin me

controlin me

all the people who been hurtin me

workin me

divertin me

so i packed it all up

in a u-haul truck

and said God take from me

&& wish me best of luck

cuz im movin on up to the big house

its time for my praise to be real now

its time to make my praise real in my heart and soul

its time for me to get up and regain control

i been givin it up

and abusin muh love

i been battered && torn

4gettin who was above

but im over that now and im proud to say

that i kno hes the one and only...hes the way

ima say it khaled...we da best

livin for J-E-S-U-S YES!

keepin muh head high nd muh mind rite

ima do it like Common and see the light!