Sunday, November 22, 2009

Different Breed

so im texting a friend of mine and the convo got a lil risqué. anyhow he tells me "i might let u have some of this" so i said to him "listen to u! if i want it i can take it. its not a matter of you givin it to me. trust that.!" his response took me by surprise ---> "ima diff breed. u cant take me. i aint easy." that made me weak cuz it was kinda sexy that a young man would say he aint easy. at the same time, it was a challenge that i cannot take but i would LOVE to overcome. then, it was an eye-opening/ thought provoking statement.

the thought of him uttering those words made me wet. yuuup, i said it lol. i could hear his voice in that statement and it was too sexy lol. ugh the lust is so apparent.! but...with all that lust came nothing but the thought of sex. there was no thought of him holding me and making love. it was pure, unadulterated sex. and to me, that was an issue.! along with the fact that this young man just told me he was a "different breed"

well ok so this is how i feel about sex ---> man and woman love each other so they get married and in order to consummate the marriage, they engage in sexual activity. it makes them one.! however, that's not how many people my age see sex now.! in my generation, sex is just bustin a nut and relieve "sexual frustration." UGH this makes me super angry. where is the respect? where is the love in love making.? have we, the people, allowed sex to dwindle into a selfish act of pleasure.? if so, that's a damn shame. anyway...point is, i cant have sex with this young man. its too trendy.!

next thing ---> "different breed." this ties into the previous thing cuz like i generation has allowed sex to mean virtually nothing and its sad.! wats even worse is that he said "im a different breed...i aint easy," therefore implying that the "normal breed" is easy.! DAMN! did you catch that? lemme repeat...the normal breed is easy. the chicks and dudes out here in my age group are easy. HOWEVER, that is why i have been referring to him as "young man" because he is not a dude. in the same manner, this young lady, ME, would never allow myself to be a chick or a broad or a female.! nope, not gonna happen. because i am a lady. and it is so depressing that i have to label myself as a "different breed" because of that.

point is ----> WE GOTTA GO BETTER.! we cannot sit here and let sex mean nothin and allow ourselves to be easy. hold you head high, you are beautiful and special. psalm 139:14.! READ IT =D do not open ur legs to every penis that comes along ladies. and men, stop sticking ur penis into every vagina that is willing. YOU ARE BETTER THAN THAT.! dare to be the different breed. maybe one day, it wont be so "different"

Friday, November 20, 2009

and im free flowing

just thoughts streming down my face
you call it tears
i refer to them as an exhibition
fuxk the definition
i take it to heart
wen you "take things slow"
cuz thaz just you lettin me kno
that u gotta let me go
green is my worse color
but im wearin it boldly
i love you
and you love me
no doubt but u seem
i dunno kinda stuck if u ask me
im scared
of losing what we have
me an you
you and i
jus you
i rahter lose me
that lose you
thats deep
like the way i wana feel u
if i lose me
in trying to find u
then ima just be you
and thaz not enuff
i gotta be me
so that wen ur ready
you can come to me
and it can be we
but u didnt learn that lesson
so you lost urself
in her
and so u are her
u found urself for a lil while
u came back
and it was us again
jovially being wat we were
but somehow you
followed the cheese
then got trapped
so once again you are her
you said its not the same
so i guess u arent her rat
just her tiny mouse
cuz some part of you is still you
but i want u
i want all of you
i need you not to lose
urself in her
but find urself
in me.!

4:50 Thoughts

im laying in bed as my roommate sleeps so peacefully. actually shes tossing and turning as are the thoughts in my mind. im thinking about "love." the word love has become such a downplayed noun but for me, it is a lifestyle. random thought =) gnite.